Looking back

This is one of my favorite pictures of Ethan.  I took it two summers ago, when we were in Darjeeling, India. It was during that summer of travel between Indonesia, Singapore and India, the summer before we moved to Thailand.  

Drawn out by promises of proper coffee, we walked to this small restaurant. I can't remember what it was called, but it had maybe three tables.  Indeed, it served up a proper cup of coffee and a hot, hearty breakfast.  We sat at this table, staring at the foot traffic outside, the fog and cold enveloping the streets.  I don't remember what we did that day.  I probably dragged him out to afternoon tea at the Elgin Hotel. Or, maybe we took a jeep ride to another hillside town. 

I get so caught up in the pace of life in this city. Sometimes I forget all the little adventures we shared.  I don't want to forget; those experiences ground me.  Sometimes I fail to realize life in this city is itself is a little adventure for us. One day, I'll look back and miss the tree-lined streets; the bands/musicians playing in Dupont Circle, causing music to stream into my office in the late afternoon; the rowhouses jutting up towards the sky; all the bits and pieces that make this life colorful.

Summer redux: Argos

One afternoon, in Bali, we released baby turtles into the ocean.  (See them go in the second picture.)  I named my baby turtle Argos.  Then, a giant wave came and took Argos away. 

Summer redux: Snaps from Ubud

We moved from the early morning muezzin calls and pre-Ramadan celebrations on the island of Java to Bali,  where daily rituals are steeped in Hindu culture. A few reasons why I loved Ubud:

• Hindu culture and art in the daily offerings, which can be found lining the sidewalks
• Frangipani flowers everywhere - dotted on the sidewalks, on the bed linens, everywhere!
• Morning cups of tea with a view of the rice paddies and the family shrines below
• Soursop and cinnamon jam on crepes (so good)
• The Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary (more on that later) and runaway monkeys

And most importantly, Ethan proposed while we were in Ubud, with a ring his late grandfather gave to his grandmother!  I was all tears.  

Summer redux: Java Island

Our summer began on the island of Java, which appears to be dotted with several Asian megacities, one of which was Jakarta.  Jakarta was huge and sprawling, with endless concrete and traffic.

One of my most vivid memories of Jakarta involved taking the commuter train into the central station:  As the train continued to inch forward, people pushed and shoved and jumped into the train compartment - no point waiting until the train is at a stop?  Once inside, you encountered constant movement as the train jostled - all forms of wares (cigarettes, magazines, juice, soda, clothing) were peddled in the aisles.  Meanwhile, a woman, with one child nestled to her bosom and two others trailing behind, swept the floor.  As the train worked its way through the city, young kids would jump up and out of the train compartment to sit on the roof of the train. 

After a few days in Jakarta, we moved east to Yogyakarta, home of Borobudur temple, a town that obviously likes birds because birds and bird cages were everywhere, including in our losmen (guesthouse).  Everyday, we woke to morning muezzin calls to prayer.  During our time there, pre-Ramadan celebrations were under way.   

Summer redux: What I Ate

Indonesia: Ginger coffee, curries topped with chili and cilantro and other goodness, sate ayam and local delicacies at the corner warung . . .

 

Singapore: The hawker stands are incredible - Chinese, Malaysian, Indian, Indonesian dishes all under one roof!

India: Rajasthani cuisine, sugary Bengali treats, Nepali momos, Tibetan hearty soups, and too many cups of tea, too many plates of masala dosas and aloo parathas.

Mid-summer

My summer so far: no internet (for the most part), more reading, more walking, more food sampling. 

Indonesia flew by.  The island of Java, with its early morning muezzin calls, was interesting, though travel was cramped due to the high season. And, Bali, despite being a well-oiled tourist machine, charmed me again and again.  We could have easily spent the summer in Indonesia.  There's more, but I will leave that to another post, when more reliable internet is at hand.

After a short detour in Singapore, we find ourselves in Kolkata (Calcutta).  Oh my.

Cambodia finds

My flat is vacated.  My bags are packed, more or less.  I have way too many silk fabric finds (above), and there's no more time for dress-making. For now. 

Indonesia, India, and summer beckon. 

Technically, it isn't time for the move to Bangkok.  It's time for adventure and travel, a little respite.  But practically speaking, this is the beginning of the end of my years living in Cambodia.  Tears have been shed.  

I think back to my move over two years ago. I was so frightened, so excited, so open to everything.  It boggles my mind that these years have passed so quickly and here I am, many more things accumulated, many more experiences shared, and with a person who did not exist in my life before Cambodia, but without whom I could not imagine making this move or any other.  I suppose that's life.

This move feels quite different.   I feel quite different.

Unrelated, today I like this quote:

“And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.”

–Nora Ephron.

And I am off.

To Sulawesi?

via Lumbalumba Diving

With two weeks until my departure date and the official beginning of summer (for me), I realize I have completely neglected the pre-India part of my summer - the part that places Ethan and me on a flight to the  island of Java in Indonesia in early July.  Maybe it's because since I was a child, I've been fascinated by travel in India?  Indonesia, as I have been told, can be incredible.

We fly in and out of Jakarta with about three weeks to spare.  The "plan" is to travel overland and by boat from the island of Java to the island of Bali.  I hear that Ubud (on Bali), a town nestled in rice terraces, is dreamy and the cultural center of the archipelago.  Look at these pictures! 

But there remains Sulawesi (Celebes), which is more obscure, requires a ferry journey, and is very tempting . . . 

markers

This was over two years ago??  Since then, some of my dearest friends in Portland have moved, switched careers from law to medicine, been hitched - and one of these lovely ladies will soon be a mother.  Today- by her doctor's count!  This is another marker of time.

Time is passing quickly.  In some ways, I do not recognize this picture of a pre-Cambodia me devouring clotted cream and lemon curd with utter abandon.  (I paused briefly  to take the picture.)  This picture brings me back to my expectations at the time in my life, what I considered acceptable and unacceptable, where I thought I would settle, etc.  In my two years in Cambodia, I pretty much took all those things and tossed them up in the air.  (I didn't throw them away, but I suspended the need to define everything now, in the most rigid and steadfast terms.)  Life has changed drastically since that day spent in the Portland-suburb tea shop and along with it, I have changed in ways I could not have imagined.  It's a strange sense of freedom and openness that is both wonderful and scary, light and weighty.

I'm aware that my time in Phnom Penh is winding down.  The meetings and receptions in Manila were, in many ways, a culmination of the work I've put into this project/case/research in the past two years.  In Manila, I was also fortunate to meet other lawyers, researchers, and advocates working on similar issues from Kyrgyz Republic to Mongolia to Sri Lanka to the United States to the Netherlands.  We are a small group of people. 

Finally, the meetings drove home the fact that this case - and this work - will go on for years and years to come.  It's important to take breaks.

I am looking forward to my break in Indonesia and India, to a summer of being a plane, ferry, and train passenger to and through countries I have never been.  I'm looking forward to glimpsing the  majestic Himalayas with my own eyes  and breathing in the crisp mountain air.  I am looking forward to sipping a hot cup of Darjeeling tea in  the hillside town of Darjeeling and to rummaging through markets in Indonesia filled with batik textiles.  I am looking forward to walking the cobblestone streets of Ubud.  And even though my heart is heavy with the thought of leaving this work for now (an opportunity to work in Manila has presented itself and I am passing), I am excited about starting our life in Bangkok, Thailand.

Monday daydreams: The Darjeeling Toy Train

via About Indian Cities

I haven't allowed myself to really think about our trips to Indonesia and India this summer.  First, standing between me and that trip are 3 more months of living in Cambodia, a consultancy that needs to be completed, a visit by my sisters and Ryan, and a few trips to the far-off provinces  in Cambodia, to Bangkok, and maybe even to Manila. Oh, and taxes!  In other words, there's a lot to do before then.

I am headed to the Indian Embassy tomorrow, for Try No. 2 on my Indian visa.  I was warned that the process may not be as straightforward as with other consulates.  Try No. 1 was a failure.

And with that small step, with that small acquiescence into my upcoming summer holiday, I have allowed myself to linger on one daydream.  It involves a ride on the Darjeeling Toy Train, up and up to the Himalayan town of Darjeeling. There's too much to see in India and with a little over three weeks there, we will focus only on the Northeastern part of the country ... but maybe dip into Nepal!!! 

I admit I'm a little excited.

fired up.

No. 6 (all images via still the sky is blue)

Last  night, I landed a short consultancy researching Cambodia issues for an exciting global project housed in a big NYC institution! (Vague, I know.)   Assuming I am on schedule with the research, this project timeline should work beautifully with my July and August trips to Indonesia and India (i.e., should not interfere).  It will also mean more focus and work from me in the next 2 months, and invariably, some frustration.

Sometimes, and this was the case in private practice as well, I felt like such an impersonator in law school, at the firm, in court, with clients.  It boggled my mind that I was being paid to read, write, research, and argue.  I felt like one day they'd find out I really couldn't do it.   I've spoken to many people since then and I wonder if this fear of our ability to contribute is not more common, as many female lawyers confessed to me the same feeling. 

Well, with international human rights lawyering and research, I've had a similar fear.  Who am I to be able to do this work? What do I know?  Being around amazing, speak-five-languages, globe-trotting lawyers, researchers and academics can be intimidating. 

And so I was a little shocked when I was contacted immediately for this small consultancy and then hired.  Me?!  Yay to me.  This is a project that would have been completely out of reach two years ago.

Also, I LOVE the spring stuff from No. 6.  The world needs more brightly-hued clogs.  I never pulled the trigger on the No. 6 zipper clogs, despite Ethan's urgings.  Something about the uncertainty of August onward chills the spending habits.  But I should celebrate small successes and treat myself.  And this certainly is a small success.

I'm so fired up right now to begin the work.  I told Ethan to remind me about my excitement when I'm cursing in about one and a half months...

Friday Thoughts: Kashgar and Away

It's Friday afternoon and I am daydreaming of Kashgar, of the little guesthouse we stayed in and the cool concrete floor outside our room, the bright windows, the noise outside (often construction at sunset), the smell of baked bread from the nearby street market, the piles and piles of dried raisins and nuts on display, the yoghurt and cake stands, the feel of a foreign place, and all the contrast and conflict that is Kashgar.  I am remembering our first night out in the city, when we sat a local kebab place, at a small table directly across from a young Uyghur  couple.  The woman was garbed in a bright yellow dress with a pink and green ikat pattern.  We assumed they were newly married, given her coy gestures as she poured the young man a cup of tea. We did not hear them speak one word to each other over dinner ... All these thoughts push into and against each other. 

I am also trying NOT to think of the upcoming summer - Indonesia and India!    In between cooking dinner/reading/walking with Ethan, I'll blurt out, "We are going to India!"  He has grown accustomed to my non-sequitur thoughts, so he just smiles.  I am very excited, but there are still 4 months of hard work between now and then, my last 4 months of enjoying Cambodia living. 

Focus.

2012

Disjointed images of life, above.  I'm slowly trying to get back into the swing of things.  It's proving more difficult with this trip.  Yesterday, at the grocery store, I ran into a colleague who heads up a division of the UN.  We lamented about how, with each trip out of Cambodia, it becomes harder to adjust to life here.

At any rate, there are many things I can look forward to this year:  My sisters and Ryan are visiting me in May.  In early July and August, Ethan and I are visiting Indonesia and then India.  Sometime after that, there will be a move, which will be an entirely different beast.  Also, the report is near publication -so very, very close, but it is driving me insane a little. (And, how will the Government respond??)

Daydreaming

via Twila's Vintage Clothing

My list of moving essentials is growing.

I need a bathing suit for my tentative weekend trip to Bali. I'm aware of how obnoxious that may sound. Let me start by saying I'm not a weekend-in-Bali-jetsetting kind of girl. Reality has never been so extravagant. But Portland friends are visiting Southeast Asia this June, and I've agreed to meet them wherever they land, for one weekend. Bali cast its net and drew them in. So, unless the human rights org I'll be working for has other plans for me that weekend, I intend to go to Bali, bathing suit and beachball in tow.

My daydreams of beach lazing and bathing suits always resemble these images: leisurely glamour and bright smiles.