2013 and what I want.

Afternoon strolls in Darjeeling and Pelling, India

It's only been in the last few years that I started the ritual of writing out resolutions to mark the start of a new year.  I think this space has been good for that and, in general, for documenting the past three years. 

It's my lunch break at work. I've just finished a Sri Lankan meal of pumpkin curry and banana leaf salad. In ten minutes, if my client is on time, I will have to start an appointment.  But for now, I'm clearing the space to jot down what I want out of this year.  Writing keeps me honest and accountable.

I didn't accomplish all that I resolved to accomplish in 2012.  While I did move out of Cambodia to pursue other work, I still grapple with balancing work and personal obligations.  Six months after my departure from Cambodia, I'm also still working out how that experience fits into the rest of my life.  I published my research in Cambodia, but I failed to complete the manuscript for the journal article that I was once so psyched about.  I accepted summer vacations back into my life and, during one such vacation to Indonesia and India, I became engaged to Ethan.  All in all, I would say it was a good year, despite difficulties.

2013 will be more flux, more change. In July, I will be married. The prospect of having a family is a notion I never really entertained before (at least, not seriously).  But for the first time in my life, it's what I want. (Being exposed to wonderful women who appear to balance fulfilling careers and aspirations, along with family obligations, has helped.)  Finally, there's the possibility that we will be back in the US some time this year - for how long, I do not yet know.

My resolutions this year:

1. Another summer vacation - If and when I do return to the US long-term, one thing I will struggle with is having to fit back into a two-week annual vacation.  This year, I am blocking the month of July for wedding and honeymoon travels. Period.   
2. Publish - There is one research project that has been languishing since last year and another on my desk regarding gender-based violence/persecution claims before the UN.  I want to have both manuscripts completed this year and hopefully, published or at least publishable.
3. Push through the fear (of change, of rejection, etc) -One thing I tend to do is shrink or be paralyzed when I see all that change coming at me, all at once.  I hope to be able to push through despite my fears. One example is that, in the past two months, I've been a candidate for positions that I thought were out of reach (and very well should have been before Cambodia).  I made many excuses in my head not to try, but I eventually I did.  It's too early to tell how it will pan out, but the process has been surprising and a lesson in itself.  Most importantly, I should allow myself to dream.
4. Cook simply - My cooking mantra for 2013 can best be summed up in this book by David Tanis.  Again, a girl can dream.
5. Spend more time with family and friends - Three years abroad. Enough said. 

Crepe cake and a new dress.

Yesterday, my colleague I brought Ethan and me to sample crepe cake at a small cafe in the Phaya Thai Palace.  I would have never found this little gem on my own - it's tucked away on the grounds near the army hospital of all places. The small cafe itself is quaint and in a well-preserved building, such a nice change from the shininess of Bangkok.

Also, I was finally able to wear one of the dresses I had made from the cotton fabrics I bought in Kolkata.

The simple things.

More avocado, please.

Sale Alert: Ace & Jig

 via Of a Kind

I'm dreaming of cold weather, but I'm not impervious to the allure of a good sale.

Sale.

Today

via Twig & Spoke

Dreaming of cooler weather and jackets.

Bonne année et bonne santé!

My last images of 2012.

 

We've been to Cambodia and back.  We said goodbye to 2012 with a quiet dinner at Taling Pling with Gayla and then an evening on our rooftop, with glasses of red wine in hand.  At midnight, we watched the pops of fireworks on the horizon and the lanterns floating up to the sky.

The end of year is always a good reason to take stock.  2012, while incredible, was also incredibly challenging for me.  Apart from my decision to leave Cambodia, our move to Thailand, and our engagement, there have been many other encounters with change on various levels - and despite my dogged resistance, I see more change in 2013.  I surrender.

Ethan was offered a position in Burma.  A few years ago, I would have jumped at the opportunity to work in that country and particularly now, at a time where the political landscape appears to be shifting. 

But we decided against it, which still blows my mind, a little.  Navigating life's turns, the never-ending stream of options, our constantly-evolving needs, and though all this, the uncertainty has been my lesson in compromise.  Maybe that's what I took from 2012 - I learned how to compromise.

Block Shop

 images via Block Shop Textiles

I have way too many scarves. Still, this one is tempting.